May 7th, 2009. 8:15PM
That is the day I worked up the courage to bring a piece of my past, back into my life. I sent an email to another Mom. I had never met her. I knew she went to the same high school as me but had graduated before I was even a freshman. I knew she lived down the road from me growing up, I knew she was popular, I knew she was friends with one of my best friends growing up, I knew she was a mom. I knew she was the mom. I knew she was the mom to Kadi's half sister. She had no idea Kadi existed, even though I knew about her daughter before Kadi was even born. I was scared out of my mind and when I bring up that message from 2009 I can tell how nervous I was just writing it. You have no idea how someone is going to react to the news you are about to tell them. "We have daughters that are half sisters." Thank the Lord above that she didn't go nuts on me and tell me to never speak to her again. She was the nicest, most open and helpful person I could have hoped for. We have been friends ever since. We've run into each other over the years with the girls and we just smile and talk like nothing is weird or the fact that our girls look crazy alike! I remember one time Kadi and I were in line at the grocery store when Taylor, her younger sister and her Dad were checking out in front of us. Taylor and Kadi stared at each other for what seemed like forever. They were just little tots and probably were just curious about each other but I was anxiously waiting for Kadi to look up at me and wonder why the girl in front of her looked just like her. She didn't, of course.
As time went on we kept seeing them at random places. Taylor found out about Kadi and wanted to meet her. I wasn't quite ready to bring that up to Kadi. She still has no idea why she went to court one day and had to celebrate her dad actually being her dad. Her mind is young and it's just hard for her to grasp something that she's never seen or heard of. To her, Matt is her Dad. He is the best Dad. He is her only Dad and no one will ever be able to change that. Her adoption was even a closed adoption so it looks to anyone that might try to dig it up that she was born to him, just as she was to me.
Recently I was talking to Betsy, Taylor's mom and decided I was going to ask Matt what he would think about Kadi meeting Taylor. I was scared out of my pants to ask him. We don't talk about that part of my life. Up until now, it hasn't meant anything to us and isn't an enjoyable thing to reminisce about. Now it does. We have a NEW family. We have a new daughter. I look at Taylor and her family as our extended family. They have a piece of us in them, and them in us. We got together on Saturday and spent the day doing girl things with our beauties. It was perfect! We felt it was so precious and perfect that we were ready to share it with our friends and families. I didn't mind my friends messaging me on facebook wanting to know what on earth was going on. I didn't tell many people Kadi had a sister before this. I knew they were messaging me because they all love Kadi and were ecstatic for her. Then I heard that people who have no connection to the girls were trying to pry for information on why they were sisters. Isn't that obvious!? They don't need to be picked apart by anyone for any reason. I caution anyone that comes in contact with our girls to please be courteous to them and realize that this is all new to them and they don't need people asking them questions that they don't need to answer. They love each other and have an unspeakable bond. We've seen them every day this weekend and I know Kadi will feel lost when she doesn't get to see her tomorrow since it's a school day. Just remember, every time you talk about someone in a negative way, not just us....I mean anyone, remember that they are human, just as you are. They do things they aren't proud of, just as you do, they love, just like you do, they cry, just like you do. Remember that your questionable or bad choices are no better than theirs. Your sins are not above theirs. When you see a homeless person or someone that drives a worse car than you do or lives in a worse house than yours, just remember that you're no better than they are. We're all equal.
I have heard a lot of people say that they would never date anyone with a child. I've also heard parents say they don't want their kids dating someone with a child. I encourage you to either keep that to yourself or have an open mind. At least around me. If my husband would have had that mentality then our family wouldn't exist. I've never heard him say anything of those sorts around anyone. He has also never told anyone that Kadi "isn't his". Kadi has NEVER been a "step" anything to him or his family. Kadi is so lucky to have the family that she does. I will never forget the moment that Matt's family met her. It was never awkward or weird in any way. They all love her like they love the ones that share their same blood. I wish everyone could love like they have!
Moral of the story is, unless you have something nice or encouraging to say, don't say anything at all.
To Taylor, Betsy, Al, Lily and Emma: We're SO glad you're part of us <3
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